


My Hole to Your Hole

by MiddleNameIgnominy



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Friends to Lovers, Joke Fic, M/M, Meditation, Resolved Sexual Tension, Slight OOC
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-04
Updated: 2017-05-04
Packaged: 2018-10-28 00:34:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10820004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiddleNameIgnominy/pseuds/MiddleNameIgnominy
Summary: This is a joke, and a bad one at that. I apologize in advance.





	My Hole to Your Hole

Neelix gave a sigh of relief. After a long day of work, he could finally get some shuteye in his quarters. What time was it? He wouldn't know, he could never get his phaser to stop flashing 12:00. He exited the kitchen and was about to exit the Mess Hall entirely, until he noticed Tuvok sitting alone at one of the tables. He was closely studying a pad, his Vulcan face contorted in concentration. He felt his pants tighten at the mere sight. "Whatcha doin'?" he said, hoping his friend wouldn't notice his boner.  
Tuvok looked up from his pad. Since when did Neelix get here? He found this mystery erotically exciting. "You, hopefully."  
Neelix rubbed his nipples, counterclockwise. "Yass, queen, yass."  
Mr. Vulcan grabbed him by the perineum and pulled him into a short peck on the lips. Feeling that that was enough foreplay, he unleashed his massive penor. Said penor wrapped itself around the button of Neelix's pants and tore it off. All clothes on either man fell off simultaneously. Neelix's downstairs quivered in fear. Tuvok dropped to his knees and said, "I will now perform an uncommon form of meditation."  
"Meditate me, daddy."  
Tuvok spread those delectable buns and closed his eyes. "My mind to your mind, my thoughts to your thoughts. My mind to your mind," he pressed his face to his lover's entrance, "my hole to your hole." Suddenly, Neelix achieved a deep state of clarity, understanding, and avocados.  
Back when Mr. Vulcan was still a child, he fell in love with a girl. He vowed never to let it happen again. However, keeping this vow became increasingly difficult with each day that he had to watch Neelix. His voluptuous figure and thick hair were enough to make any man swoon. Also, his saccharine shtick which contrasted oh-so sharply with his holodeck search history, it was all so PERFECT.  
Neelix was at a loss for words. He could only helplessly stand idle as the pressure slowly lifted as Neelix climaxed unto Tuvok’s pointy ears. Thusly, the dark male’s liquid penis squirt occurred.  
In need of a break after such a dramatic incident, the two sat down on a nearby couch and began spooning. Neelix had the sudden urge to check his phaser again, and he did just that. Much to his satisfaction, he found that the time had been corrected. It was now Neelix’s favorite time of day. His favorite time to be boned.  
69:69.  
And then they died of AIDS.  
The End.


End file.
